On Winding Down

sigh.

It has been far too long. This is the place where I wanted to share my journey towards a simpler life. My heart's desire is to own a bit of earth. A place for my babies to roam and grow. A place to rest my heart and to just be an Ezer. {See, Genesis 2:18}. For now, I focus on finding the place to homestead and raise my babies.

Currently, my days are filled with work. Photography and loving on the Mommas and at the end of the day and before the sun rises, loving on my own babies.  It is not easy. My road is hard and filled with many challenges. I am thankful for these challenges. I have learned it is best to embrace the hard times as well as the good, because the hard help you to appreciate the good so much more.

It has been a hectic ride.  This last year. I have gained a certain toughness that I wasnt sure that I had.  I made it. Financially, I made it. And let me tell you, there were weeks where I worried. I worried how it would all work. But it did. I had to dig my heels in at times and then there was a lot of leapin of faith. Turns out, I am a pretty good leaper of faith.

This year also saw a bit of collapse and expansion of my heart.  I would be lying if I didnt say that my heart still clamors a bit for the past- the couldas and the shouldas.  Not a day goes by that I do not think about it but with that being said, I also do not live in the past. I just cannot. 

So anyways, my babies have grown in leaps and bounds this past year. I cannot believe, I have finally left the terrible twos for the rest of my parenting days. As awesome as that feels day to day, typing that made me well up a little. My babies are children, tweens and a teen. wow. It all happened in a blink of an eye.

We are now preparing for the awesome Christmas season. I will be not working, and home with my children for almost 2 full weeks. I CANNOT WAIT! I have worked between 50-70 hours a week and 6-7 days a week since August. I am grateful for the work that provides for our home. It is a tough pace to maintain along with properly attending to your home and being present as a Momma. A break to just snuggle in and rest will be wonderful for my family.

Our Christmas gift giving preparations are in full swing. We have been making lists of what wonderful gifts we will be making and for whom.  Bake it or make it, is definitely our focus of this year's gift giving... and quite honestly, a homemade gift is the bees knees!

It is funny, that as I notice everyone else revving up for a busy holiday season, I am slowing down. I am thankful for the chaos of my days that I have had. I am grateful that I get to slow down after a lot of hard work. I hope that you find yourself slowing down this season, and being able to focus on all those whom you love.

Thank you for taking your time to read this. I appreciate you.

Choose love and be blessed wildly, 
Wendy 

On Balance

Often I find it very difficult to maintain balance. People often ask me how do I do it all. Single Momma to five babies ages 13 to 3, two different school districts, daycare for the two youngest, a full time job, a photography business, youth group, etc.  Really, I am not much different from many Mom's I know. Jokingly, I say that I am like the Cat in the Hat who balances everything and with one misstep it will all crash down. 

I have my own little meltdowns and usually it is always about the same thing...balance. I miss being a stay at home mom. If you have the chance to do so, even for a season, I highly encourage it. With that being said, I also love my job and the other hats that I wear. Finding an ok balance that works for me has been a work in process but finally, it seems to be coming together.

So how do I do it?

1. Morning meditation and prayer. You can ask anyone that knows me closely, I am a morning person. I love mornings. However, if I do not wake up and read or listen to my morning devotion and become too busy to pray, it aint pretty people. I have to wake up and choose an attitude of gratitide and choose to put on love. Otherwise, I will most likely be spewing venom by 10am.  In reality, none of us are too busy to find time to spend with God. We choose to worship the idol of busyness and wear it as some badge of marytrdom when in reality it just that...an idol and an attidude of ungratefulness.

2. Create a realistic schedule. Follow yourself around for a week and jot down how you spend your time. Are you wasting too much time on facebook or other social media outlets? Let's get real, it does suck your time and often your energy if you are falling into the drama like some soap opera. Look for ways that you can add or take away activities that will get you closer to your goals. Then write a realistic schedule that you can stick to. I include things like housework, activities with the kids and even meals on mine. When I do not follow some type of schedule things do not get done.

3. Learn to say NO! Come on, practice it with me, No! You have no business signing up to make eleventy bagillion dozen of cupcakes for the school PTA event when you know you do not have time. Now, listen, I have nothing against PTA'S or any other group but if you are signing up to do a bunch of things that will just make you miserable all while making your family subject to your misery, don't do it. Half the time we only sign up for these things so we as Mom's can be part of the COOL PTA Moms group anyways. We are more concerned with fitting in then we are with whatever benefit the bake sale items are going to be sold for.

4. Take a time out from your phone. Yep, I said it. I am horrible with my phone. I am always worried about someone trying to get ahold of me and I am not available to them. Guess what? Even if someone does call while I am away from the phone, they will leave a message. Amazing how that works. During your phone time out get your things done that you dislike doing the most. It goes that much quicker.

5. Make a to do list every night for the next day. I know many companies tell people to do this as part of goal setting training. You know why? It works. I personally love having a handwritten list so I can cross things out as I accomplish them. But you can use your smarty pants phones and gadgets too...whatever works for you.

6. Chill out. It is not that serious. Whatever you are going through is what it is. I am not saying that it isnt difficult but find something positive and cling to that truth. My friend Colleen who passed last November had a great attitude as she was fighting stage four cancer. She taught me that life is what you make of it and you can choose to make it miserable or you can handle it as it comes with a great attitude. She chose to be a rockstar at life and live like everyday was her last. So maybe you had a bad day, the kids are driving you nuts and your laundry isnt quite complete...take a deep breath, turn on some great music, dance around like a loony and purpose to get it done tomorrow. It will still be there waiting. Dont let life's busyness steal today's joy. It is so not worth it.

7. Personal Responsibility. (warning this may hurt a little) Take responsibility for the life you have created. Stop focusing on who did you wrong, the if only I could haves, woe is me nonsense... No one is required to make your life better or easier-that is your job. You are not entitled to anyone doing the work for you. So stop making excuses and and just do it.

Choose love and be blessed wildly,
Wendy xxooo

New Blog, New Roles

This clip in Field of Dreams came to mind recently when I was talking with someone about the roles we have in life. In this clip, the young baseball player must make the decision to either stay young and play the game he loves or step off the field to his role as Doctor and do what is right- save the girl from choking to death.

The choice as a viewer seems so easy to make.  Of course, you choose to save the girl. Everyday in our lives though the choices of which role we must take are not so easily laid out.  As a Mom of five, the roles I have are many. Add to that a full time job, photography, various community groups and well, the role I play is never always just one. I can and do function in many 'different' roles all at once. I suppose that is life in the fast lane.

I began this blog a year ago. Wait, by begin, I mean I purchased the name chasinglauraingalls.com and knew that I would eventually focus on it.  My heart has always been that I would write on this blog when I was ready to re-focus my life on a more back to basics type lifestyle. My hope is that Chasing Laura Ingalls will capture my heart cry towards a simpler life. One that is presently aware and focused more on family, parenting, and all the fun stuff like my crazy life in between.

I hope you will stick by me and read as I share this new chapter in life.

Choose to love recklessly and be blessed wildly,
Wendy xo

But, I Am A Good Person

Picture taken at dawn, in Currytown,  New York, July 2012 
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.
"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8

I am in an online bible study group on Facebook. It is a group compiled of people across the nation all corporately reading the four gospels together in one year. Today we read  Luke 1:26-56 .  I personally noted a few things about how it must have been to travel pregnant and what it must have been like to have an Angel appear and say hey you are going to be carrying Jesus, the Messiah. ::sigh::  

However, what stuck out to me the most was in verse 34 when Mary questions the Angel of the Lord Gabriel. Let me back up, yesterday we read about the priest Zechariah who had the same Angel appear to him and when he questioned him, he became mute.  See, Luke 1:1-25.  Why did Mary seem to have a different favor in the sight of the Angel Gabriel when it came to her questioning?   To save you from reading this, I will tell you already that I do not know. 

What I do know is this... Many, many people question why their prayers seem to go unanswered when they are "good" people and yet others are answered and they don't even seem to follow God or anyone besides themselves. We focus on and compare the blessings we each have and receive. In case you didn't know, that is also known as coveting. 

First of all, all prayers are answered. The answer might be yes, no or not now, but they are answered.  This business about having a more effective prayer practice is nonsense. I mean are you really telling me that is someone is dying of cancer doesn't get healed it is because of her faith or lack thereof? People lining up with this type of theology seem to be missing the point entirely and are very dangerous to new believers. 

Over and over we see these amazing men and women in the bible who didn't always get what they want. Job  had to go through it, Paul went through it and John the Baptist who was the only one I can find besides Jesus to have the Holy Spirit with him from conception went through it. They didn't get out of bad situations because they were "good" people. For whatever purpose, God chooses how things will be handled. This might be a miraculous healing or it might be the grace to get through it.  

The point I am trying to make is this: We either have to believe who God is or we don't. We have to surrender to the idea that we don't have all the answers and that His ways are far beyond our comprehension.  He doesn't and will not live in this little box that our finite minds put Him in like some genie that will come in and grant our wishes on command.  But know this, He will come to you where you are at,despite your mess, all the time, on time and He loves you.  It is that simple. So let's get back to basics- Trust Him. Love Him. Quit trying to figure out the why's and focus on who He is.

Choose to love recklessly and be blessed wildly, 
Wendy 

Who Are You Hearing?

Photo taken at Auriesville Shrine, NY 2012

You know the familiarity of a voice of someone that you know, that you have a relationship with? You know it is them without having to second guess it. You have spent so much time with them that you would bet your life on it that even without seeing them you would recognize their voice. 

I am a slacker a lot when it comes to spending time with God. I make all the same excuses that you might. I am busy, I have five kids, I have this and that and this and that going on. This verse reminded me of what being in a relationship looks like. Knowing the other person so well there is no doubt who they are when they call your name.  Imagine being in a relationship and being like yeah, I love you, you are my all in all and yet, not spending anytime with that person? Imagine what that would do for the relationship? Recently, someone dear told me this most valuable bit of advice, there is no relationship without well, relationship. 


Sometimes, I question whether or not I am hearing from God. I wonder is this You, or maybe this is me?  I realize the more I pour myself into a relationship with Him and get in His word and really seek Him, the more I am confident knowing it is His voice.  


As we all begin our New Year, we get energy based of the fresh start, new beginnings. Many people focus on God and set all these goals and resolutions based on how much of the bible we are going to read in a year. The focus becomes more on the task of reading vs. the relationship.  By the end of January, the momentum is gone~ similar to the honeymoon stage being over and we begin making excuses as to why we do not have time.  Really? No time, for what we profess as being the most important relationship in our lives? Then we wonder why our lives become more of a mess and then throw our fists in the air demanding "God, where are you? why can't I hear you?" When we were the one's with the adulterous hearts and behaviors, walking away from Him, NOT the other way around. 

This year, as I take a stand and re-focus my life on back to basics, I am choosing to be more aware of my relationship with Him.  Spending time with Him- not because it's on my feel good, warm fuzzy checklist, but because I desire to have relationship with Him and always know for sure it is His voice. 

Choose to love recklessly and be blessed wildly, 
Wendy